My mom called me today, and asked me to come over so we could talk. My first thought was that I hope everything’s okay, or… what did i do wrong. Kind of funny really… with the way I’ve been feeling lately. I need to talk to her about everything that has been going on lately but I still ask HER if SHES okay.
I go to her house later on and sure enough, she asks me how I am and there go the water works. She started off by saying “Honey, you haven’t been yourself lately and I need to know what’s going on.” Truth is, I’ve been really sad and unhappy. I can barely see what I’m typing at the moment. Imagine waking up every single day annoyed, not wanting to get out of bed until absolutely necessary. With that I started missing school again, just like I had a few years prior when I first started University… and I feel the pattern starting again. I was craving a beer the other day just to escape from all of my problems. Just like I used to do.
I broke down in front of my mom and explained my life, how my relationship is failing, my school, I constantly feel like I am having or on the verge of having anxiety attacks. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Like I am just stuck in life with no way to escape it.
I don’t want to feel stuck in life, I want to enjoy my life because I know this isn’t the way it should be.
Upon the suggestion of my mom, I took the step on calling my doctor and set up an appointment to speak with my doctor. I don’t know what I should expect in the long run but I think I am on the right track. I just hope I don’t back out come my appointment next week and stay in bed…