, , , , , , , , , ,

I hate that there will always be this feeling inside of me.

Hopelessness. Dread. What if I never get my life “started”? I am 25 and it seems like everyone around me is getting married, having kids, buying houses… etc etc etc.

I mean, I am no where near ready for anything of that sort and I know it… but still. When will my time come? I know I should focus on the positives in life and in my life specifically but I am just having another off day… or week even. Im not so sure. Or maybe its because its midnight where I live and I am just strictly overthinking every. single. thing.

SO MUCH FUN. (sarcasm)

All I want to do right now is listen to sappy love song music and cruise through pinterest for sappy quotes about life and love and all sorts of crap. Why? Well, why feel one way and pretend to not feel like that? I am not about to half ass my feelings. Well, now I know Im rambling. I mean, I could go to bed because I know I have probably the biggest week coming up with no rest in sight for another 2 weeks… but what I will probably end up doing is staying up another couple of hours. Doing what? Oh unnnoo, maybe eat my feelings away with a delicious cookie… listen to that sappy love song music and yeah, cruise pinterest for some AWESOME quotes that match my feelings perfectly to let me know I am not alone.

What a joy depression is really. Add to that the fact that I recently caught strep throat so I have been stuck in my house sleeping/over thinking and I also really need to go to the gym to deal with these thunder thighs.

Today… this is my life. These are the thoughts that are in my head running around finding little cozy places to call home. I am trying to feel better throughout the day and smile… but today.. right now.. I just need to be alone with my thoughts.. and ramble… and hopefully wake up in a better mood.