Why can’t love ever be easy? It’s almost 4am and I can’t stop thinking about that. Maybe it’s because I worked at the bar tonight and had a coffee not 2 hours ago- maybe. Maybe it’s because my aunt told me to call her at my earliest convenience. I have this feeling that something’s wrong. But what could be wrong? That’s what’s keeping me up. I just watched an episode… Well okay, I just watched about 4 episodes of scandal on Netflix since I’ve been home, because I can’t sleep, because I had that coffee. Because I’m hopelessly in love with a man who lives across the entire country from me and I can’t see him not near as often as I would like. I just watched an episode … Season 5… One of the earlier episodes of scandal that surrounded a “happily ever after fairytale life”… That didn’t end so happily. So I guess now, because it’s 4am I’m lying in bed thinking… Why can’t love be easy? I’m in love with someone, so ever in love with someone. And I know he loves me too… So why can’t I shake this feeling that something’s wrong? Whhhhhhhhy am I forced to over think every single thing? Why can’t I just enjoy being happy? Why why why? I’m happy. I don’t want to hear anything bad. Maybe I won’t even hear anything bad. WHY CANT I STOP THINKING.
I know nothing about this makes sense. I know that. What do I think happened? I’m supposed to go visit my love in two weeks- have a nice visit and see some family while I’m at it. I can’t shake the feeling ever since I booked my flight that something’s wrong. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t really want to go to bed and wake up to find that my fairytale is ending. But what if it doesnt? Ugh