The decisions we make throughout our lives truely fascinate me.
I have had the most interesting journey with one of my friends with whom I met my first year of high school when I was 14.
We became best friends almost instantly, we hung out every single day and began to learn about each other. We knew each other in and out backwards and forwards as odd as that sounds.
The other night we chatted about all the memories we had with each other and one thing came into question. The question of “what could have been.” Our memories had brought so much joy to us, even the not so fancy ones…
There was a time at which we didn’t speak for over a year… We had a falling out and just seemed to move on with our lives. Little did we know we would become inseparable again, after we had both just thought, maybe that was it.
Inseparable as we had become, things were different we both knew. As much as we tried, as much as we try to pretend nothing’s changed. We have changed.
It wasn’t until a woman I know brought something up to me, a question she asked that seemed all to real. It was about something she was going through with someone and she wanted my opinion. Had I experienced the same thing?
Funny how life works some times. She was going through what I had finally said no to. My friend that I had been friends with for 12 years now brought up the question as to why we never dated. I laughed, told him we were too much like family. Truth is, we had had this conversation before, many times in fact. We always had excuses, I was too young, didn’t believe in relationships, then he got into a relationship to which the girl ended up screwing him over big time, I fell in love with my first boyfriend, he hated women, I hated men.
We just never would have worked. Through it all, we remained close. I would listen to him and he would listen to me. We know each other and I think we finally understand that this is how it is- we are friends until the end.
We are both the type of people who like to sit back, relax and reminisce about life. Just talk about all the stupid, fun or boring things we do or don’t do with our lives. It’s funny how life works sometimes.
It never would have worked out because it shouldn’t have worked out.
I am exactly where I should be and its the little things in life that keep reminding me of that.